“Facade —– My Subsistence”

I can see her ….
She is wearing a dark blue dress that complements her dark brown eyes. There is nothing naive about her. She seems like a predator, cunning & sharp, ready to grab her tired prey at any instant. Her scarlet streaks fading  and dissolving in her dark brownish red hair seems just impossible to ignore. She is a lady of power. She has the power to control. Her face it’s so composed, every curve of it inviting you in, compelling you to follow her every command. The depth of her chocolate honey eyes wearing a superficial demeanour. Ahaa !!! I see it now, a vibrant ray of hope in her egocentric features & its source… It’s in her eyes, a flicker of dwindling flame of life… & than it’s completely gone, her wildness tamed, her hope vanished, now she again wears that same expression of charming dour as when I first saw her.
                            The cruelty rings from her whole existence, there is nothing humane about her. She is a beast despite her outward beauty, she is whom she is. A merciless selfish creature drenched in brutality. She has long forgotten how soft life was, now she is as hard as stone. She is a woman of motive, ready to do whatever it takes to get her way.
                          Oh thank God ! I am nothing like her. I am not selfish, self-centered or cruel. My heart still beats in its soft comforting rhythm. My face though is heart-shaped same as hers. My eyes & hair are same as hers, dark brown. But my soul is still pure unlike her who is soul less. I still have the flame of life shinning in my eyes. I must see my reflection to assure myself that I’m still alive , that I’m still me.
             The old antique foot long mirror, ahhh !! It’s there, right in front of me. Oh thank God ! I am me, I can never be like the girl whose image stands in front of …. It’s a mirror that must mean what I  am seeing is —  It’s a mirror image of —– ME !!!
            What have I become ? I am like a dead corpse, no sign of my innocence. Nothing close to love exists in my existence. I love only for my motives. I have become a selfish, mean, egoistic beast…. a predator, because I can even kill to get what I want.
                Who made me like this ? who drew my soul from my body ? Tears glittering like first drops of rain in the drought fall on my cheeks. It was me who made me like this ! Who else can I blame ? but what I did was to survive, to survive in this cruel arduous time. I did nothing wrong. My tears like first drops of rain fall & dry on the barren soil of my existence. I did nothing wrong.
I put on my facade again…. this is who I am now !!! The old, soft, polite, loving me has been devoured in my strong, hard, cruel, new self.
                            I can see her….. the slight streak of my old self. She flashes lightly & then fades away forever.


Filed under Uncategorized

23 responses to ““Facade —– My Subsistence”

  1. Ah but at the end of the day don’t we all put on masks and act away?

  2. In the world of today courtesy is a killer…we all have to put on a mask to survive in this world so you’re not alone in this regard!

  3. moving words..
    well done expressions.

  4. invite you to take our week 5 writing challenge,
    anything comes to mind would be awesome to share,
    hope to see your in.
    Happy Saturday.

    love your blog, you have powerful talent.

  5. hey there though it was somewhat obvious right from the beginning as to what you were implying still it is good work 🙂

  6. These days I too stare in mirror and wonder what i have become

  7. Do you ever get those days when you look in the mirror and don’t recognise yourself?

  8. Sometimes I think about the person I used to be. And now I really don’t like that person. I was like a puppet, easily controlled.
    I’m happy I’ve changed for the better. And that’s what we all should do.
    Speaking about the revenge you told me on my post, any ideas? 😉

  9. Wow, this piece of writing is nice, my sister is analyzing such things, therefore
    I am going to inform her.

  10. I was more than happy to find this site. I wanted to thank you
    for your time due to this wonderful read!! I definitely loved every
    bit of it and I have you book marked to check out
    new things on your web site.

  11. Good post. I learn something new and challenging on sites I stumbleupon on a daily basis.
    It will always be helpful to read content from other
    writers and use something from their sites.

  12. WOW just what I was looking for. Came here by searching for preventing cold sores

  13. When I initially commented I clicked the “Notify me when new comments are added” checkbox and now each time a comment is added I get several e-mails with the same comment.
    Is there any way you can remove people from that service?


  14. I read this piece of writing completely on the topic of the resemblance of most recent and preceding technologies, it’s remarkable article.

  15. It’s amazing to pay a quick visit this web page and reading the views of
    all friends on the topic of this piece of writing, while I
    am also eager of getting experience.

  16. Very good blog post. I absolutely appreciate this website.
    Stick with it!

Share your view !!! :)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s